An encounter with a prof

I hurried to my Professor's office after his class got over. Mind you, I didn't attend the class.

The subject he teaches is actually "Response modelling of pavement materials", but he told me initially that it was something to do with "variability in pavement materials". I took it up thinking that it would help me in my project. It didn't. But he helped me a lot with his guidance in my project.

I asked him if I could go collect the data from a company. He agreed and gave his visiting card so that I can show it to the General Manager of the company and get the data. He even suggested me to carry my identity card.

I told him, "Sir, I lost my I-card recently."
Then he started,

"Dilip, how the hell can you screw so many things in your life? You screwed the course you have taken. Never attended classes. Never submitted the assignments. Didn't submit the term paper also."
I didn't. Assignments and term paper constitute 20% of marks. 80% weightage is given to the exams.Despite these irregularities, I still topped the second quiz. Am I not smarter than those who fawn you so that they get better grades than what they deserve?

"You screwed your Btech project. Had you worked well you could have produced a very good paper and have gone places."
Dear sir, you are wrong. I might not have put enought effort so that my work could be published. BTW, research is not my calling. So I am callous to the core about what you are saying.

"You have lost your discipline"
I agree, Sir.

"Do you at least eat in the mess?"
They give us crap. I don't like it.

"Do you atleast sleep properly?"
Isn't that implicit? Had I slpet well, wouldn't I have attended all your classes?

"May god save these BTechs."
You can save me, sir. Get me out of your room fast. I have got a lot of work to do. I have an end semester exam tomorrow. I have to get a photo copy of my friend's notes.
"Okie, meet me after you get the data. Bye."
Haaa.. at last, the golden words!!

I said,"Thank you, Sir," and left his office in a jiffy.

Thank god! The prof couldn't read my mind. Or did he???